you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
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It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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