just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
In other news, I just burned my penis
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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