3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
