your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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