fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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