I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
