I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize