alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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