Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
