I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
