Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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