He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
