Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
