The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
