pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
