Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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