Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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