i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Fuck appropriateness.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
