She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
