Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
