you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
