Are we in a gay sports bar?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
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