So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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