I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
