it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
