the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
