I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize