Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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