so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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