We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize