It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
