Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
