one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Drunk is not a location!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize