Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize