dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
