He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
