I think I just saw someone hide a body.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm bleeding and have questions
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
