So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
