i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
