Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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