He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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