i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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