I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
