Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
