well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Randomize
