Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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