One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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