How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
