Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
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you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
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So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van