that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow