We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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