I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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