Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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