he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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