gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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