I think i sorta joined a cult last night
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
