When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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