Sry I called you an 8
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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