So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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